I want to write about this week, my friend Joel Brightbill fell asleep while driving hit a tree going 40 mph the air bags didn't open up, getting the news he was in very critical condition. I could feel his soul vacillate between worlds have Charlie Thom there holding the energy from the other side. I talked with his wife Pat knowing she had to have that conversation letting him know how much she loves him but could except his decision to either stay or love him on the other side. He has had numerous surgeries after his accident 5 days a go today is his day of rest then on to more surgeries, possibly going to Stanford Hospital for reconstruction on his face. As my friend Holly (powerful healer) says Joel is a 24 hr guy who is in service to do what ever it takes to help others. In this picture he is building my lodge before going to build Charlie Thom's last lodge on the Sacramento River. Our friendship has had many twists and turns, for over 20+years from being in the Marble Mountain Wilderness for many days doing ceremony in all kinds of situation in all kinds of wilderness. It is like people who are not accustom to the true wilderness the wildness of it make do not make elaborate altars. Joel knowing that mother earth is her own altar not needing many decorations but does like to be honored with respect and care. We would build a huge fire on the side of Spirit Lake almost feeling the power and strength of it roaring over our heads knowing that spirit created a safety that is beyond words or ability to even for us understand this is our altar our elements no frills just the real deal of water, earth, air and fire, feeling the spirit alive and respecting our work. He is an amazing person, he was going to take a few of us in this next summer in honor of the work we did there for many years, this saddens me that he will be in re-hab unable to do what he loves, knowing that in some ways it is our responsibility after Charlie Thom's passing to visit his altar in respect for him as a huge Medicine Man. Now all is up in the air for that journey?
Also a wonderful woman Donna May is in the thrills of her writing her long awaited book still sitting on the shelf waiting fore editing. She made available as she branches out in non traditional therapist way, dream weaver gave an invite to either do a phone call or Skpe for 30 mins. calling it "psyches call.' During the call I asked her what are we doing here, "I am here to support your dreams" I am still almost speechless realizing that she really is available to be just support in a kind magical way. The call was amazing I am still a bit uncomfortable to switch rolls I am usually the supporter, so to have her bid for supporting me has given me a new energy. To have Donna offer such generosity I not only appreciated her but trust in her sincerity and honesty which gives my soul the feeling of trust I have not had many offer so much. So that all being said, this week having that support I feel more positive and driven to know that in my emptiness the way will be made clear. " I also have been offered by 2 of my clients that want to help in anyway advanced guys for workshops or Quest they want to be included to do what ever necessary. I can feel the pot churning into an more apparent tapestry which having the store has not happened for quite a while except for Vision Questing.
Yesterday Mom & I went over to visit the Methodist Camp to check it out for the scheduled Vision Quest August 2-9, no snow, very little water. I am feeling the land calling to me I am waiting for the earth to give me a clear message of my next step with that land. I know the land there & have a deep relationship so wondering which way that will go. When I started with Joel's terrible accident he was going to do the teaching of building lodge, so with him in his condition plus the water, fire potential everything is up in the air for the time being.
Again Thank YOU Donna May plus my clients have been calling with such enthusiasm!
In this picture is Joel just before the last Lodge for Charlie Thom that night Charlie was taken to the hospital. Joel is always hard working great lodge leader!
Cheryl Yambrach Rose art work is amazing, I am using this photo for my flower essence. Yesterday my friend Susan and I went over to hang out with her. I remember when I first saw her artwork so long ago now I am in her beautiful home seeing her preparation for her new deck it is breathe taking almost difficult to grasp the energy in her new painting then being supported by older work. I am still feeling the uplifting energy from being in her presence and her husband Toby's really powerful this life change. I am going with emptiness wanting for the sign filling up, letting emptiness just be. My friend Steve Bosch told me yesterday he is leaving here to return to Mesa Arizona Mt Shasta has given him many challenges and awakenings. I definitely feel that as he transition to where people know him, he needs to get out on stage more. I am disappointed we were going to do much plus he taught a writing class in Arizona but we can do it through email. He created my web site, now we are listing our products on Amazon, he will be miss. He also showed up to help me with lodge he just jumped in and did it which is a challenge for most even people who have done lodge for many years do not adopt what knowledge he did with ease. Who knows maybe this is my time to travel and do my work many places now that I don't have the store. I am getting guidance that is a definite possibility not knowing how that will be birthed. Listening to Cheryl and Toby's story telling getting the visuals of their adventures clicked in my consciousness of my own adventures while having the store staying more here.
It as usual is a wild hatter ride I was going to help my son when his wife is in Cambodia helping with 1400 orphanage kids fixing their teeth with a team of Dentist and assistant. Mom & I went down playing GG & Mom fixing meals taking my grand kids out for Chinese New Year to a place I went with my kids on Mother's Day many moons ago. Back down memory lane we were driving me, Zac, and Josh I was talking about how I wanted a new rose bush a pink one then miraculously this fellow came running across El Camino bent down handed me a pink rose saying, "Happy Mother's Day " . This is one of my stories I tell for my story telling being it is completely true. So this year Friday Feb. 7 I am taking my 2 grand-kids Owie who is 18 months, Tessa who is 4 1/2 to the same restaurant. It is pretty amazing these time the importance of showing up in good humor they were great. Having enough noodles and ice is the trick plus a great older guy waiter giving us what we needed as we needed it. It was an amazing time showing the importance of family and still going out of my way in my own shaman making medicine food keeping conversations light healing and fun. Plus the big plus is the winter Olympic's are on showing the disciple of the body and mind. I also have been determined to go to this new place I heard about it last year it just came to Stanford in Nov. so I had planned to be there at 6 am but it didn't work but I was able to go Sunday @ 2 with Kirk what an awesome fun workout plus the gals there were so nice. I even told them I needed help a gal helped put my cycle shoe in the slot something I have not done even though I go to spin. Now it is clear I need shoes for this when I go back. So you wonder what is my point well I made the connection to go to soul spin no matter what is going on the family then it is better for everyone I achieved an awesome goal made dinner lacking a need for attention after a grand workout! Jaime their Mom was back with all kinds of stories to tell my son who she only talked to and play with the kids, if I had not gone to spin I would have attempted to engage with her conversation more but I was full of fun from spending time with my son & kids & my Mom, spent from great exercise let them have their private time even though we were right there. Now back home planning my next shaman journey which in this stillness I feel a definitely transition is perking I feel I am just the observer watching myself go through knowing big changes are here. I am very clear the store closing was a definite God/Angel movement, plus feeling Angel Gabriel very present moving the energy in a profound way watching the change but not knowing where that is going. I am ready to get on that White Horse and ride into the at void what ever spirit is presenting~
Having more on my Vision Board and Bucket list this week, big ones do you think it can all happen????? Gosh wouldn't that be grand~ Believe the Believe is NOW~
Saturday night I went to a party in Woodside for Daniel Foor & his gal Sarah being invited with the drive knowing I needed to show up for myself. I also knew I wanted to be there to wish his journey blessings. I drove round trip 700 miles once again following my guidance the feeling of being in the right place at the right time, now that I have been invited to this great Celebration of this beautiful couple he is moving to North Carolina. I enjoy my drive with my shamanic clarity as I drive, then deciding the easiest way to pick up roses would be to go Costco in Foster City thinking that would be the most direct on my way to San Carlos. I arrived at Costco seeing lots of people not thinking about Super Bowl oh my there was probably 20+ people in line but I still felt the importance of bringing a gift for these beautiful host Andy & Becky having a luscious beautiful home, knowing what wonderful hosts they are. I also spotted some heart shaped cookies knowing that this ceremony is a heart connection. I left after standing with people I saw a women try on an exercise lavender jacket across that looked awesome on her. I could see she was puzzled at the length of the sleeves then she walked pass me to put it back, I told her how super she looked and the sleeves is a new style then I saw her change her mind keeping the jacket. Often we think we have little em-pack on people but here is an example that maybe part of me being in Costco was to support her in her choice for the jacket. I then left staying with my friend Ricki sat visited with her then off to the party. I arrived there were maybe 60 people I handed the roses and cookies to Andy of course the house is beautiful I took the flowers and hearts into the kitchen knowing that they would arrange this at a later moment. Daniel introduced me to Sara, had a wonderful conversation with her knowing this a is a strong solid relationship which is confirming this move. I looked around the room several of the people here I have had very close relationships with being that he and I co/facilitated Quest for 5 yrs knowing the inner working of so many of these folks. I visited with several also finding that most just wanted really light conversation yet me feeling the depth of each of those I have been involved with in a more intimate level. Andy & Becky welcomed everyone into their lovely home with caterers and servers with excellent food, actually spectacular but of course with their taste one would only know excellence is happening. Then later in the evening Daniel and Sara are making an announcement to see Daniel is moving down to his knee to ask Sarah to marry him, she says,"Yes," such a sweet moment to be part of. After that everyone is just quiet with camera's clicking I left mine in my car along with my purse with my cards.(not so smart some nice guy wants card) I know I have missed everyone but after the last couple of years being pre-occupied with the working of the store and our own personal life. My feeling of myself reemerging into this group, a certain sadness of the disconnect but then feeling a real re-connection. I have been hesitant to write about it all not because it wasn't spectacular but till now as I write I am interpreting this as I write. Know that some of these people I will have a more intimate connection knowing I am more available. I felt that I needed to leave in a quiet silent way, following my guidance that my time was done not for any reason but I was complete. I arrived to sit and chat with Ricki knowing that also was my place, which was equally as important to spend quality time with her once again I felt I was once again in the right place at the right time.
