Fall Equinox!

Things are not often as the seem to be.......we have to look deeper but sometimes we are choosing to be manipulated for our growth. Until we become honest in our soul work we must learn many lessons. We have to accept that people are not where we want or think should be, it is our drive for being co-dependant to want everyone on the same team. As this season moves into being it is apparent we are learning some big lessons with economy and the necessity to open our heart to love. This picture is the end of my flower essence for this season, vetch, sweet peas, amethyst, and crystals. I am tuning into what this draws to the person using it. I have been asked to make some for a Japanese web site for them to sell to Japan. Yesterday in the store there were 2 women from Japan asking very specific question of which flower essence would work for specific things they were attempting to create in their life. It became clear that on the page I have for each essence I need to be a bit more specific which in the next few days will be a joy to have more clarity. I love having the flowers teach me about themselves. I also use flowers in my Sweat Lodge asking for their help. We are now entering the season where few are in bloom. The next lodge I still have mint and lavender to brush on the rocks, of course some of my beautiful roses for opening the heart. I love the nature of flower power, a energy to not be neglected for their power. That is what I love about living in the mountains the simple ceremonial times, just being in my 2 gardens cleaning out and up......being blessed with Mother earth's appreciation for me being the guardian of this land. I think about it as I achieve each task. Including gathering fire wood deep in the forest feeling the pulse of the mother. As I am sitting here at Mt Shasta Herb & Health writing this there is a blue jay squawking very loud from my garden telling me communication is absolutely essential for those that we are opening our hearts. Now if people aren't there it is not our job to push through we have better things to do. As much as I want my team I also realize that people are at their own speed, it is none of my business to insist that they come along. The music is playing from Amma's Swami's 1000 names of the Divine Mother hearing the blue jay and seeing the bowl touches my heart in great gratitude for all things. If you are reading this I want you to understand how you are a blessing, beautiful gratitude for your life. A HO!

Please Grant My Prayers!

I am praying for all of those who want that special beloved. It has come to my awareness this year I have said so many prayers in the Sweat lodge pleading for those special people to come into our lives. It has been clear no matter what age in their 20's-30's or 40's or 50's or 70's the one thing we all have in common a prayer for a beloved. I was telling my last lover how strange it is to be at this age here with my cats without that special person......... There is a man friend who has achieved a lot said sitting on my sofa, " the one thing I have to have is that special relationship is my last hurrah." Then these women between 38-42 are praying for that before their time is too late to have that family their plea is loud and clear. Then you take women/men in their 50's saying the same all I want is some-one to do the things I love to do. (For many the children thing is over or they are raised having the time to commit fully to a relationship) I feel with all the earth changes love is the main drive it keeps showing up in all types of ways to open our hearts to the Divine. I find it powerful that there is no shame in asking for that beloved. The only problem I feel is getting out there talking with men or women practising that friendly chatting without fear of anything. Often we have gotten out of practise because of heart break or just isolating at home in our comfort zone. It is time to stretch our wings getting out there risking taking up some activity that one can just enjoy biking, running, hiking, kayaking something that feeds the physical then mental or go to singles activities where there is some type of ground work singles opera, concerts, not just dancing, with no focus. I was just giving a massage feeling the depth of my client from Japan praying for that beloved so as I prayed with her I knew it was time to write about this. With each trusting touch I felt her relax molding into my hands clearing any doubt or trauma from the current Earthquake in Japan that was on her birthday the changes in her body and all around her. I feel very blessed to be of service to such a divine privilege praying with her. We are called to make life easier prayers for those suffering or feeling loss of any kind. Thank YOU universe for the calling and opening for these prayers for our children/adults longing.

Moving into Fall

Well this has been a great completion year with new beginnings! Sometimes feeling the grief of completion unsure of what is really beginning. We have felt the change in Mother Earth shaking up our reality of where earth quakes are or hurricanes seeing earth is in charge of making us make new choices. I feel that some of our economic challenges has forced us to look at what is really important what relationship do we need to nurture or let go of, also to stay postive no matter what . So our family and community is actually larger but the firm choice of where do we put our prana life energy. This year our Shasta Wilderness Quest went great and a completion of the process we have been in for 5 yrs. I am reminiscing with all my past Quester's and Supporters from 1991 when I started with Charlie Thom. I remember clearly how we sat at Spirit Lake him saying, "When you do your groups you will do it different!" Since then I have done a flavor of different types. I knew like sweat lodge before I did my first Quest I needed to do one. I didn't understand the significance of either but as I did my first lodge in Turlock that started my unfolding of Sweat Lodge. Then being drawn to Vision Quest reading Sun Bears book getting a book from a local Indian group, I searched around who I wanted to do it with. Charlie was at my home in San Carlos on Halloween with a Full Moon I was chatting with him he said I will take you! Then it started a 13 day wilderness Quest that I co-leaded ( meaning I would chat with the people on their process) that was when he sat by the fire telling me about when I would do it on my own. I have found it to be a wonderful process of humility and gratitude that people trust in me. I feel the work is very profound and intimate. One of the areas which starts a huge process that woman understand that importance of their monthly moon cycle though it seems harsh that they can not be in Sweat Lodge but for many it is the start of an honoring of being woman. I still chat in session with some women who tell me how their Quest is still working them plus realizing how that monthly cycle is a big honoring still. I feel that is a great success for us women. Plus the other real blessing is when people begin to understand what it is to take on the Wisdom of being that Wise Woman or Elder Man.........that for me gives them the grace to be that Mentor as we move into our 50's- on that there is a blessing in our aging plus a responsibility to continue growth. I have also met people who elders have said to people who are unwilling to take on that responsibility .......YOU will never be an elder. I honor the process of continued physical work and emotional, spiritual work it is necessary to continue our own growth. We are seeing life as it is complex but remaining we have chosen a real deal life. So many of us are not living in ashrams, convents or cloistered existence so we are dancing the real dance of life being a human experience. It has many twists and turns with many blessings. I feel fortunate to have multiple experiences from my early childhood so I can relate on so many levels. I am really enjoying my clients that teach me so much. I feel very fortunate I generally have teachers in my massage practise and spiritual practise. These teachers need confirmation of their process I feel blessed that they trust me to be that person. I know that my journey this year of my gals from Japan, sweat lodge with many Japanese, plus my truck into the wilderness after not going since having the store a re-newing I needed. I know I have laid down some new medicine not really know the new beginning but very encouraged about it. I also look forward to the completion of 2011 as the leaves fall off of the trees here in Mt Shasta. I went into the Marbles hiked in then carried a pack out something I said I wouldn't do but also understand what it represented the responsibility then I fell in water so my pack was heavier with water. I also understood the emotional (water) responsibility that i would carry out. I wish I felt strong enough to enjoy the walk but it was more of getting out to get that pack off my back. I felt terrific when I came out, not sore. Then there was planned a lodge for some Japanese folks Sunday I was busy getting lodge ready a bit tired so I took a tumble down 2 stairs. I could feel my whole leg pull, knowing at the moment of falling this is what an accident is. The great news was I had Mom, Bennie, and Krissy to take care of the fire and people. They would also take care of me get water help me in and out of lodge. The interesting thing about it was I once more had to re-view where am I. That I would put ice on my leg no exercise for me I could hardly walk but did take care of myself. I also felt a renewed focus on my own process of where I want to put my energy. It was great going in the Marbles with these powerful medicine people sharing our stories of our successes and challenges. I had to sit and ponder that all. Then there was a gathering of friends at the Best of Shasta with Charlie Thom and loads of others we sang in ceremony touching on the journey of this path. Then the Quest came giving me a focus & strength of completion of this process. I am very excited about how everyone did it was such a fabulous experience. I also thanked our supporters and all those who held this energy at home taking care of our homes, pets and holding energy for another year. I have done groups with TuBears a real blessing, another at Gunboot with a couple helping me a fabulous experience, one in the Blue Ridge Mountains with my fire keeper Lone Wolf who totally rocks! I appreciate all of this! Thank YOU great spirit. Before the group arrived I had been told I need to have a new dress so the week before I ended up doing grocery shopping at Costco unexpected but ok. I also got material to make my new dress. As I was sewing my needle broke which I thought was no big deal. I went to get that needle kim said that sometimes that would make the machine off center I would know because the thread would keep breaking.........so you get where I am going......it did. I found myself Friday night on my way to Walmart in Yreka to buy a new sewing machine so I could finish my dress. Nothing in this life is a simple but the importance is being determined and having the energy to follow through. I did finish my dress at the coming in of Questers I wanted a picture of myself along with Questers throwing in their prayer ties, but my camera was foggy. This picture is at my friend Michael's in front of his fire a new beginning that too is unexpected this is the way the medicine works. I always say I am good at following the energy.