My first Sweat Lodge in 1887
As I sit in this lodge dark, all I see is a huge Panther Black Cat and a big snake.......I am not sure if I am going to live through this. My ears are on fire, wondering what will it look like when woman dies in Sweat lodge in Turlock California. I was on a journey after seeing the lodge at Stewart Springs for years but not really knowing but feeling drawn to it. Then after a sticky testy divorce I was in a woman's support group I asked another gal if she ever saw one being advertised I would love to go. Then as spirit has it she saw one in Turlock Calif. so we started our journey getting lost for 5 hrs, not realizing that too was part of a shaman's journey. So in the morning we started by building the lodge now I sit here with sweat pouring off this body having the heart closing into my mind feelings thoughts rising deep with in a clear way in an odd reality.
I arrived with Lana feeling out of place then realizing we were here to work. We were to collect the willows, rocks, fire wood (by the site) each took prayers and focus. I learned that the rocks were called Grandfathers being here for century's. Building the lodge out of direction from the Karuk stocky Medicine man with a big black hat (turning out to be Charlie Thom the same man who has lodge at Stewart Springs). He was showing us how to bend the willows pray as we go. I thought what if I professional former husband could see me now. The park was beautiful as we looked over a meadow that we would call Angel Meadow a blue heron flew over with her wings spread wide so powerful of a message. It was a completely different reality being here in nature now the fire burning with the blankets on the lodge with tarps covering the lodge. The base of the fire had large logs making a floor for the rocks then putting split wood around brush in the center covering each with a prayer placing our intentions for the coming time in lodge, lighting it. WE now have a fire roaring it is a beautiful place with great smells of the our door and Mother earth. I know I am in for it, as we enter sitting on the ground in a circle of each direction, Red Hawk(Charlie Thom) sitting in the East to the side of the door all adds to the mystic of this. He adds celery root, along with many other herbs. He is known for being an herbalist so he has a direct relationship with many herb which I later find is different then most lodges. The smells are divine the root sparkles on the rocks, he is belting out songs that I attempt to sing along, feeling the depth of all of it. He pours water on the rocks they sizzle making the heat more intense and see those images.
Being in Sweat Lodge has many meanings for many people it is basically a prayer service for many it has such a profound cleansing brings up much emotion, often flash backs, great for recovery, (a friend brought it into the prisons for Native folks)the experience makes me feel alone in the dark often for many it can bring claustrophobic feelings or hyperventilated breathing.
I decided to add this to this blog today this has been written so long ago to even remember. This picture of Micheal & myself are the most recent Vision Quest for 2011 this is the lodge. The times have changed however the ceremony hasn't, it still is a mystery to me. I never really can predict what is going to happen, each is unique to it's self. After that first lodge I didn't sweat for a year, having a profound effect on me. When I did do it again in Turlock I became an apprentice so then I would often do lodge 3-4 times in a weekend plus still working mainstream in our Salon in Burlingame the "Townhouse." Then I started leading Quest's in 1991 which each one just like lodge in unique to itself. I know one thing that ceremony once the medicine is set down to a format the earth, lands ancestors, trees and all the natural surrounding know. When I go on the land in between times putting offering of tobacco and sweets the trees wave their arms in welcome, the area where lodge is has also a welcoming even if the weather isn't great. I love this work and am a constant student as the natural resources teach me how to honor the land and Mother Earth.
